Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Mike's Quest for a New NFL Team to Pull For - The Nos

As a result of the continuing NFL Los Angeles debacle that resulted in the wrongful relocation of Mike's former team from St. Louis to LA, Mike has now gone about a month with no team to pull for.

The offseason has officially started, and Mike has gone through the list of the other 31 NFL teams to try to find a new team to root for. 

As mentioned in the most recent podcast, no team ranks above a "Maybe."

A lot of factors will play into any final decision, ranging from, but not limited to:

  • The owner's support of either Carson or Inglewood.  Pro-Carson owners (which would also be pro-St. Louis) are viewed more positively then pro-Inglewood (pro-Kroenke) owners.
  • The team's history of winning or losing.
  • The team's coaches through the years.  Coaches Mike doesn't like will affect their ranking.
  • Other factors.
Here's Mike's list of teams he's saying No to - and it's varying degrees of No:

Leaning No

Indianapolis Colts - Pros: This has long been Mike's backup team.  The Colts and the Rams actually have much in common: Carroll Rosenbloom swapped ownership of the two clubs with Bob Irsay sometime in the 1970's, and the two greatest running backs in Rams history - Marshall Faulk and Eric Dickerson - also played for the Colts.  Cons: Current owner Jimmy Irsay ("The Mad Tweeter") was reportedly pro-Inglewood, and the club started making overtures to the St. Louis area less than 24 hours after that fateful vote.

Tennessee Titans - Cons: Mike now knows how his late mother felt when this team, the former Houston Oilers, were moved to Nashville (coincidentally, Jeff Fisher was the Oilers/Titans head coach during this time).  Her nickname post-move: the Spoilers.

Likely No

Atlanta Falcons - Pros: The Dirty Bird still ranks highly in terms of touchdown celebrations.  Cons: Owner Arthur Blank was reportedly pro-Inglewood.  This is also a team that allowed Wade Phillips to coach them.  Lastly, in our discussion of "how old is too old" in regards to stadiums, the discussion centered heavily on Atlanta (granted, we were mostly talking about the Braves' decision to leave 20-year-old Turner Field, but the Georgia Dome - opened in 1992 - isn't that much older and they're replacing it with what I'd describe as a next-to-impossible feat of stadium engineering.

Denver Broncos - Pros: The current Super Bowl champions are heavily referenced in adult cartoons, whether it's Homer Simpson owning them or the South Park kids rooting for them.  They have a great history in terms of winning in the regular season, and the stewards of ailing owner Pat Bowlen stated during the whole LA situation that Kroenke would never be allowed to own the Broncos (Kroenke already owns Denver's NBA Nuggets and NHL Avalanche - and both have done just as lousy as the Rams).  Cons: Historically, that winning tradition hasn't translated to Super Bowls - the most recent one is only their third in eight attempts.  Also, the Wade Phillips factor.  (Yes, I acknowledge he did an excellent job running the Broncos' defense, but as a head coach he's an idiot.)

Detroit Lions - Cons: Mike is already not a fan of Detroit's other pro teams (all of them), and the team - the only NFC team that has failed to make a Super Bowl appearance - has a long history of losing, including an 0-16 season in recent years.

Miami Dolphins - Pros: Historically a great team.  The 1972 Dolphins remain the only undefeated team in current NFL history (unlike the more recent Patriots, the Dolphins did win their Super Bowl).  Cons: That historical success hasn't translated well in recent years.  Owner Stephen Ross was pro-Inglewood.

Philadelphia Eagles - Pros: This is a team Mike respects and has followed off and on.  Cons: Owner Jeffrey Lurie was pro-Inglewood.

Solid No

Buffalo Bills - Cons: This is the team that Mike strongly associates with Wade Phillips' lousy job as a head coach: before the team's last playoff run in 1999, Phillips benched Doug Flutie - with one week to go in the regular season - in favor of Rob Johnson, and it went south from there.  Mike is also a non-fan of current coach Rex Ryan (often referred to on the podcast as "Fat Ass").  The team's new owner was pro-Inglewood.

Carolina Panthers - Pros: Owner Jerry Richardson was on the LA committee and very pro-Carson (therefore, pro-STL).  Cons: The Panthers consistently have a bunch of guys with less than desirable attitudes on their rosters.  See Steve Smith or Cam Newton.  Also, Mike still has bad feelings toward the team stemming from a 2013 regular season game where Sam Bradford got hurt (first of 2 ACL tears) and Chris Long got wrongfully ejected after a fight with the aforementioned Smith.

Washington Football Club - Pros: During his time as a security officer, Mike actually worked with this team.  Cons: Owner Daniel Snyder - known for his bad ownership and overpaying for declining talent - was pro-Inglewood.  This is a team that once hired Marty Schottenheimer as their head coach.  Lastly, the nickname needs to change.

Absolute No

Baltimore Ravens - Cons: This was the team "created" by Art Modell's stunt 20 years ago (unlike Kroenke, Modell had the good sense to never show his face around Cleveland afterwards).  Current owner Steve Bisciotti was pro-Inglewood and had very negative comments toward St. Louis.  Lastly, the Ravens have a history of hiring similar to Carolina's in regards to less than desirable attitudes.

Dallas Cowboys - Pros: This was the team of Mike's late mother, who was raised in southeast Texas.  Cons: Owner Jerry Jones was Kroenke's biggest cheerleader in the whole LA situation.  Also, this team once had Wade Phillips as head coach.

Kansas City Chiefs - Pros: This is Mike's hometown team.  Cons: Too many to count but we'll try.  Mike is especially turned off by Chiefs fans' behavior at Arrowhead (among other things, it's "home of the brave," NOT "home of the CHIEFS").  The team hasn't appeared in the Super Bowl since the 1969 season.  The nickname needs to change.  The team once had Marty Schottenheimer as their coach (the timing of which contributed heavily to Mike's non-love for the team).  In regards to the LA situation, owner Clark Hunt was the only LA committee member to vote against Carson, leading to speculation that he's pro-Inglewood.  Also, the biggest legislative obstacle to the STL stadium project was State Senator Rob Schaaf (R-St. Joseph), whose district includes part of KC's Northland and the team's training camp.  Chiefs fans, stop wasting your time trying to convert Mike.  It will never happen.

New York Jets - Cons: Owner Woody Johnson was pro-Inglewood.  The team has a long history of on-field ineptitude and hiring less than desirable personalities.  "Fat Ass" once coached this team.

San Francisco 49'ers - Cons: They are the blood rivals of Mike's former team.  The sting of that 17 game losing streak to these guys will never go away.

Seattle Seahawks - Cons: In addition to being an up-and-coming rival of Mike's former team, owner Paul Allen (the wealthiest owner in the NFL) was pro-Inglewood.